Note: This post is the result of day 1 of my 30-day journaling challenge, which I'm hosting via my private Facebook group, Creative Writing for Parents.

The monotony of life can start to feel like a prison sentence when I don’t take care to remember all the nuances that make me, me.

When my neighbor called, she caught me home alone. No kids. No husband. Just me and a whole day of quiet and self-reflection.

Without hesitation, Michelle invited me over, and I accepted. Only five houses and several trees bearing their arthritic-looking branches separated our homes. The moment I opened her door, her husband, Chris, began playing the piano that occupied their dining room. Michelle had lit the fireplace, draping an orange glow over the living room. I followed her into the kitchen, where she handed me a wine glass and we debated red, white, or rosé. I instantly exhaled a month’s worth of stress. Maybe a year’s worth. Without hesitation, she set up charcuterie in the living room. 

Late into the night, we discussed Spider-Man, the Witcher, and the whole MCU. We revisited memory lane, as I relived my first date with my husband and how it lasted 11 hours, as I gushed about all the life lessons that taught me what I needed to learn in order to find him.

I gave them a private reading of a recent, hilarious article—how I had survived being an almost 30-year-old virgin. Reading my work aloud with a live, captivated audience, who laughed hysterically at all the right moments, encouraged me in ways and filled up my self-confidence reservoir.

And I realized just how much I had found trustworthy friends, as they let me share my complicated past with religion and helped me consider how my broad, inclusive views don’t actually make me a “bad” Catholic. 

As the wine flowed and the jubilation of riveting conversations filled the night, as I fell back onto the sofa laughing so hard my stomach ached, as I walked home 5 hours later feeling 15 years younger, I was so grateful they had created an opportunity in which I could fully revisit past-Erin, the one who thrives on complex, open-minded discussions that renew my passion for life. 

The family and life I have now, I actively chose. And I love them, no doubt, to the moon and back again. But the monotony of life can start to feel like a prison sentence when I don’t take care to remember all the nuances that make me, me.

That night with my friends was a wakeup call; I can’t wait to invite them over next month and do it all over again. Maybe my husband and I can finally plan game nights again too!!!!

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Featured photo by Jeff Siepman on Unsplash